Wednesday, 21 June 2006
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RE: Might lose you again
Hi! You must have been wondering if I've read your letter, if I'm going to answer it or not. For the nth time I would tell you that I am so aware that I'm hurting you, but let me just clarify that it was never my intention.
Honestly, I do not know where to start. Just like you I'm bad with letters especially if it's for someone... but you know what I was so overwhelmed with what you wrote, I cried. Somehow I feel guilty coz I feel that I don't deserve to be treated like that coz I wasn't so nice to you. I was touched coz I never thought that I would be loved that much.
I was silent for a long time because I really don't know how to answer your question. You were there for a long time and I appreciate your presence. Though I know the intentions that lies behind such presence, I still feel the sincerety whenever we hangout. Whenever I look at it, we get along well and I am really comfortable being with you.
I dunno myk... I dunno the reason why I can't seem to envision us being "together". I like everything about you, you're really special. Don't think that I'm just talking shit... or just sugarcoating. Everything is true.
Probably, I'm scared of losing the chemistry that we have, because in every relationship that I get into, everytime it gets official the official problem takes place as well. I don't want that. I don't want us fighting about stuff. I don't want us to go through a very unstable relationship.
Our relationship is a lot more special than being boyfriend-girlfriend. I know you may find this idea really shitty. But there are some good relationships that I wouldn't want to lose or I could not risk to destroy. That's why I don't want to get into anything complicated especially with you involved.
Yeah I know this is bullshit... I hope you're not mad at me... Sorry if I hurt you.
Dale
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